Evelyn vs. Crab walks, Evelyn vs. Laundry, Evelyn vs. Fruit flies....

Today, I am tired. Exhausted would be a better word. I went spinning last night, to train and I did alright. My legs were a bit tired but I powered through. I feel BA (badass) when in the spin studio alone! I woke up and I thought it was Thursday, it was not. I think I really hate boot camp. We did a lot of running today, a lot, a lot. I think I need a lung transplant.

Crab Walks

We had trainer 1 today. I can't decide whether I like her or really, really, really hate her. I'm sure she is a fine person but I feel like she picks out every exercise I'm bad at. Didn't finish the crab walk or the inverse of it. I was last in both or didn't even finish. I felt the pity looks. I'm not happy about this. And let’s talk about how shredded Janine and I’s hands are….holy crap. Yup we are gonna be the a-holes with gloves and if anyone has anything to say about it they can suck on our big….toe! all I kept on chanting was “we are gonna look so good…we are gonna look so good…beach body…beach body” I think im setting myself up with some empty promises.

I read in the Metro today that there is a coyote loose…I hope it comes and bites me in the leg so I don’t have to boot camp anymore.

Laundry
Fact: I have no washer and dryer at my place
Fact: I dislike doing laundry
Fact: I'm out of clothes
No one tells u when u workout your laundry triples, especially in boot camp when half the time you have a mud butt or rocks in your shoes. So I'm out of sports bras and dangerously close to no underwear (underwear doesn't include thongs, they are for special occasions and 10th dates) so I have been doing what any person who takes on too much would do...showering and laundering. Sorry for the bras on the clothesline, neighbors, but it's much better than having chaffed nipples because I wore a frilly bra to boot camp (half true story).

Fruit Flies

12 years ago I bought a jicama to eat, but I forgot about it. I put it in our fruit bowl and through the power of nature it became a habitat for fruit flies. My roommate Amanda mentioned that it was looking kind of gross so she dumped it. 24-fucking-hours later, the garbage is infested with said colony of fruit flies. FML. I’m a garbage nazi, if its garbage day all the trash needs to go, I don’t care if the bags not full there might be some sort of apocalypse and then we’ll be stuck with a house full of garbage like the hoarders…(clearly, there is much more to this). Anyway as I pull up the bag, I am attacked by 5 million fruit flies. I killed ten of them. I find a glass to do the vinegar thing that traps the flies, but I can’t decide whether the flies like red wine vinegar or apple cider. I used both. I hope it works.

I think it's physically impossible to be on time for work anymore.

I think I sat next to J-Lo’s stripper cousin on the train. I hate her because she is wearing heels and full makeup at 8:30am. Bitch.

A lot of stuff happened before 9am today.